Strife & Debate
"Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers..." (Romans 1: 29 KJV)
In describing man's sinful and morally depraved condition, Paul says he is full of unrighteous debate, or verbal strife.
Naturally, man is cantankerous and quarrelsome.
Some people act out their natural propensities, in this regard, in a greater way than others. Some make it a habit to be contentious, and disagreeable, and argumentative, in spirit, attitude, and practice.
In Paul's description, this evil trait is associated with pride, envy, and self love. It is intimately connected to hatred and maliciousness.
Those who are quarrelsome and cantankerous do not love peace, nor harmony, nor unity of spirit, but love chaos, disorder, and division. Such are not promoters of brotherly love, but are "sowers of discord among brothers." (Proverbs 6: 19 KJV)
"It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel." (Proverbs 20: 3 NIV)
"Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins." (Proverbs 10: 12 NKJV)
"By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom." (Proverbs 13: 10 NKJV)
"A wrathful man stirs up strife, But he who is slow to anger allays contention." (Proverbs 15: 18 NKJV)
"The beginning of strife is like releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts." (Proverbs 17: 14 NKJV)
"Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended." (Proverbs 22: 10 NIV)
These verses condemn a kind of malicious debate and verbal quarreling that is a common sin in most societies, both ancient and modern, and also condemn sinful man's love of dissension.
When the Lord Jesus said - "Blessed are the peacemakers" (Sermon on the Mount), he was implying 1) That most people are not peacemakers, but are rather the very opposite, i. e., trouble-makers, and 2) That only few people keep themselves from evil strife and debate.
"You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence From the plots of man; You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion From the strife of tongues." (Psalm 31: 20 NKJV)
The "strife of tongues"! How prevalent in our modern world! A world full of cruel and derogatory speech, where mutual deprecation is practiced!
"Destroy, O Lord, and divide their tongues, For I have seen violence and strife in the city." (Psalm 55: 9 NKJV)
"Indeed you fast for strife and debate, And to strike with the fist of wickedness. You will not fast as you do this day, To make your voice heard on high." (Isaiah 58: 4 NKJV)
What a horrible place to live! A place where neighbor insults neighbor, and where verbal sparring and feuding is the norm! A society where each views others as contestants and combatants rather than as friends!
"For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder." (II Corinthians 12: 20 NIV)
"I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?" (I Corinthians 3: 2, 3 NKJV)
It is to "walk as men," as unsaved and wicked men, to be carnal, when a person is given to creating divisions, and to initiating quarrels, and to fueling strifes. Such is not that which ought to characterize the life of the Christian, though it does characterize the sinful world.
"Some indeed preach Christ even from envy and strife, and some also from goodwill: The former preach Christ from selfish ambition, not sincerely..." (Philippians 1: 15, 16 NKJV)
"If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself." (I Timothy 6: 3-5 NKJV)
"He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions..." (NIV).
"But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition..." (II Timothy 2: 23-25 NKJV)
If all men obeyed these exhortations, it would surely be a heavenly place! Do we all not know people who fit these descriptions? People who have an "unhealthy interest in controversies," as did the Athenians, in Paul's day? People who loved to quarrel and fight?
"Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?" (James 4: 1 NKJV)
This is the source of all external strife! It all stems from the inner depraved heart, soul, and mind. Quarreling stems from the quarreler's desire for pleasure, such as comes from feelings of pride and superiority over others, and of being head, as opposed to the tail, of being the boss, or being able to "lord it over" others.
"Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another: Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away." (Proverbs 25: 9 KJV)
There is legitimate debate and disagreement. There is a time for proper discussion of important truth and policy issues. To verbally strive for essential truth is truly well pleasing to the Lord. Men should "learn to pick their battles" with their fellow men, with their family members and friends. Yes, strive for what is fundamentally important, but do not strive over little matters of small consequence lest you be judged as one whom no one can please.
"Now when they had passed through Amphipolis and Apollonia, they came to Thessalonica, where was a synagogue of the Jews: And Paul, as his manner was, went in unto them, and three sabbath days reasoned with them out of the scriptures, Opening and alleging, that Christ must needs have suffered, and risen again from the dead; and that this Jesus, whom I preach unto you, is Christ." (Acts 17: 1-3 KJV)
"After these things Paul departed from Athens, and came to Corinth; And found a certain Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, lately come from Italy, with his wife Priscilla; (because that Claudius had commanded all Jews to depart from Rome:) and came unto them. And because he was of the same craft, he abode with them, and wrought: for by their occupation they were tentmakers. And he reasoned in the synagogue every sabbath, and persuaded the Jews and the Greeks." (Acts 18: 1-4 KJV)
"And he came to Ephesus, and left them there: but he himself entered into the synagogue, and reasoned with the Jews." (Acts 18: 19 KJV)
"And after certain days, when Felix came with his wife Drusilla, which was a Jewess, he sent for Paul, and heard him concerning the faith in Christ. And as he reasoned of righteousness, temperance, and judgment to come, Felix trembled, and answered, Go thy way for this time; when I have a convenient season, I will call for thee." (Acts 24: 24, 25 KJV)
Thus Paul show the way to properly argue, and to discuss, and to debate. The purpose of all true and honest debate should be to find the truth.
"Reasoned" is from the Greek word "dialegomai" and basically means to "converse, discourse with one, argue, or discuss." (Strong), "by a more conversational manner" (Vine).
This is no doubt the best way to discuss disagreements.
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