Disappointment

"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." (Proverbs 13: 12 KJV)

Disappointment is defined as "Unhappiness caused by the failure of one's hopes, desires, or expectations." Perhaps "letdown" is a more common way of expressing this human experience and emotion of "disappointment."

Solomon identified "disappointment" with sickness of heart. Oh what a dreaded disease is this condition! How sick does it make the soul! The life of man! How it saps the heart and soul of all strength, will power, and all hope and expectation!

Disappointment is a relative of dread, and hopelessness, and of anxious fear. It is experienced when a person fails to receive what he hopes and expects to receive. It is not an experience connected with the failure to receive what is not hoped for and expected.

Most people, for instance, are not disappointed for not becoming president of the United States, simply because they do not desire nor expect it. A man who buys a lottery ticket, with odds of winning being a million to one, is not all that disappointed when he fails to win. The reason for his disappointment being slight is because he had little hope and expectation of winning. On the other hand, to hope and expect for a certain result, and it not come to fruition, is indeed disappointing, yea, even leading to despair.

Some try to deal with disappointment by never having any ambition. They have suffered so much disappointment that they have stopped making appointments altogether, ceasing to hope and expect. It is a kind of "learned helplessness" that is spiritually dehibilitating.

Men must learn to deal with disappointment, both Christian and non-Christian. The bible, of course, give answers on how to overcome loss, failure, disappointment, and frustration.

"Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." (Psalm 37: 4 KJV)

Those who delight in the Lord and who make him and his service the chief desire of their hearts, have far less disappointment in life than do others. They achieve because they have learned to expect and hope for the right things, and according to the will and word of God. Wrote James:

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." (James 4: 1-3 NIV)

Though the word "disappointment" is not mentioned in this passage, yet the idea is prevalent in it. "You want something (or expect or hope for it) but don't get it." That is surely the same thing as "hope deferred" and "disappointment."

"You covet" and "desire" things, but "you cannot have what you want" (expect or hope for). "You do not have" and "you do not receive" are also statements indicative of disappointment. Why this disappointment?

James says it is because the "desires" and the cravings come from the sinful nature, from the flesh, from the corrupt and covetous heart, and not from the divine nature, nor from the Spirit, nor from the covetous free and pure heart.

"You ask amiss" (KJV) or "you ask with wrong motives" (NIV), meaning you hope and expect things that it is not the will of God that you have.

The answer to receiving the desires of our hearts, and of suffering less disappointment, is to "delight" oneself in the Lord. The purposes and ambitions of such an one will cause him to have visions of the future that come from the Lord, and will thus find success and achievement, rather than loss and disappointment.

If our appointments are according to God's appointments (his will), then we will not be disappointed.

"Those who hope in me will not be disappointed." (Isaiah 49: 23 NIV)

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." (Romans 5: 5 NIV)

These words tell us everything about why we suffer disappointment! Let us memorize these few words, packed full of remedy for us! Our disappointments come because our appointments are not made in God's will, nor according to his word and Spirit.

When we meet with disappointment, that much unwanted visitor, we must addict ourselves to pleading with God to help us to properly interpret the matter and to sanctify the experience so that the heart makes new appointments, ones that are more in keeping with the will and Spirit of the Lord.

"Hope" means expectation, and is more than mere "wish." Hope is faith in outcome, for a future realization of dreams, for fulfillment of what is longed for and anxiously sought. It is the reason behind "waiting patienty" for something, the "goad" of "perseverance."

To hope in men, or in ourselves, is to invite failure and disappointment. To expect from a covetous or non-contented heart, or for things to satisfy the evil heart, is to guarantee severe disappointment. Those who are under the yoke of sin and Satan, are under a heavy load, and in harsh servitude. Those, however, who are under the yoke of Christ are under an "easy yoke" and carry a "light load." (Matthew 11: 28-30)

The heart that possesses the love of God will not be disappointed, come what may of earthly loss. The soul of those who are close to the Lord will not have carnal ambition or worldly or vainglorious goals, but heavenly ones.

"In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed." (Psalm 22: 4, 5 NIV)

Again, more direction on how to avoid disappointment and frustration in life. Much needed counsel for so many today! People put their trust in themselves by habit of mind, often doing it without even being aware of it. They put their trust in their own wisdom and strength, and in other men of the world, and therefore it is no wonder that they often meet with disappointment.

"Without counsel purposes are disappointed, but in the multitude of counselors they are established." (Proverbs 15: 22 21st Century King James)

Another word from God on this most important topic!

Disappointment brings, by its very nature, a sad state to the mind. It makes the soul, without grace, bitter and faithless. But, the fault is not with anyone except the man who is suffering disappointment.

Jesus suffered no disappointment. He never was frustrated. He never failed. But, his heart was pure, and delighted in the Lord, and therefore all his future plans (appointments) were realized. Without the word and counsel of the Lord, to guide us in our purposes for the future, we are less insured against loss and disappointment.

"He disappointeth the devices of the crafty, so that their hands cannot perform their enterprise." (Job 5: 12 21st Century King James)

"Arise, O LORD, disappoint them! Cast them down; deliver my soul from the wicked..." (Psalm 17: 14 21st Century King James)

Disappointment then is that which is the lot and destiny of those who do not hope or delight in the Lord, and who do not take counsel from the Lord and his word, and who purpose things "according to the flesh." These can expect no help from God in the carrying out of their evil purposes. In fact, they can expect the Lord to frustrate them and bring the increasing disappointment.

"The just LORD is in the midst thereof; he will not do iniquity: every morning doth he bring his judgment to light, he faileth not; but the unjust knoweth no shame." (Zephaniah 3: 5 KJV)

"He shall not fail nor be discouraged, till he have set judgment in the earth: and the isles shall wait for his law." (Isaiah 42: 4 KJV)

Our God knows no disappointment. How could he? He knows everything, including every future occurrence. He is omnipotent and omniscient too, so how could he ever be disappointed, or fail, or be frustrated? God ONLY succeeds and ALWAYS fulfills his pleasure.

Friend, will you take God at his word today? His word that says that all who put their faith, trust, and hope in him will not be disappointed? That such will receive the desires of their hearts?